Mifepristone and Misoprostol oral administration 12 to 15 weeks pregnancy.

Disclaimer:

Following sequence is a physical study of abortion at 13 to 15 weeks of gestation by oral medications. I do not recommend abortion nor vouch for it but my very close friend went though the procedure and I supported her by noting down the process for anyone to whom it may help. Always have help available, a parent or a friend close by and your Phone set to dial 911 at any phase of help through out the procedure. If you feel anything different in extremity during the process which is not similar to below narrated pains/discomfort/bleeding, or any irregularities, is when you need to call for help. Your life is more important than anything else. You will tomorrow help others in need.

Mifepristone disconnects the placenta. This is the stage your decision has to be made to reason both yourself and your partner if this is what you realy need. If there is no other way, ie- in some countries abortion is considered a crime. But during the conversation with my friend, I came to understand that it is worse to not be able to abort. To have to face a community of ethics politics and disgust, to lose opportunities, to lose family and loved ones. We certainly cant judge the levels of human error but living means solving them. According to clinical test reports on the Web, this is the safest method for periods 1 to 15weeks. 94% of studies shows success without complications.

I am freaking out just to get a grip on myself having to support her by means of little conversations if that helps at all. I am posting this with her permission without names.

This is for educational purposes for those without the luxury or security to have assistance and for whichever reason they may go through the process, as a guideline on what to expect and how to administer. There are clinical testing reports on the Web but nothing along the lines of the patients information and the process during these long hours. So I hope this helped some one.

Analysis

Administration sequence and after effects.

2 days back (48 hours prior to proceeding with misoprostol. 1 tablet mifepristone of 200mlg was taken by mouth with water. Just gulped.

Note:

The kit came with 1 tablet mifepristone and 4 tablets misoprostol. This is the dosage for the subjected period of gestation. The lesser the gestation period, the lesser the Misoprostol. The mifepristone is a must.

8.40pm (start of misoprostol)

4 tablets each 50mlg MISOPROSTOL taken under the tongue. Total 200mlg. The tablets have to be kept under the tongue till they melt completely through the process.

8.45pm (5 mins later)

Gum feels little numb and pill tastes minty bitter. In a bad way. Melting slowly and swallowing the melts.

8.54pm (14 mins later)

Body feels chilly. Shivers. No change in body temperature and tummy feels heavy.

9.10pm (30 mins later)

Stomach feels tight. 30 mins up.

Half of the tablet has shrunk.

9.17pm (37 mins later)

Shivers. An increase in stomach tightness.

9.44pm (1hr 4mins later)

On and off shivers little bit more extreme. Body temp at 36.9.

10.50pm. (2hr 10mins later)

Vomited. 2 hours After initial doze. According to web pages which I read during the process, if vomited within an hour of swallong the tablet then the patient may need additional 2 tablets of misopristone administered under the tongue again.

11.00pm (2hr 20mins later)

Back pains and slow contractions started.

11.11pm (2hr 31mins later)

Body temperature at 37.5. Continued contractions and pain.

11.19pm (2hr 39mins later)

lose motion, stomach getting empty.

11.36pm (2hr 56mins later)

Body temperature 37.3 increase in contraction. Slight bleeding started. As expected within 2 to 3 hrs of administration. If periods dont start in the first 3 to 4 hrs of the first 200mlg dose then patient has to administer additional 50mlg (2 tablets) of misopristone under the tongue again.

11.47pm (3hr 7mins later)

Contractions have come stronger and more frequent. 5thq

12.39am (3hr 59mins later)

Body temperature 37.6 pains continuous occurring.

12.45am (4hr 5mins later)

Feeling like going to put out poop. But embroyo came out. Umbilical cord still inside with placenta. Additional 3 to 5 minutes pushed out the placenta and cord with light bleeding. The tablets induce the pushes. Body temperature maintains at same level.

1.05am (4hr 25mins later)

Poop feeling again. This time poop only. Heavy bleeding is expected for 2 to 3 days. So have a stock of thick pads and keep changing at regular intervals like every 3 hrs or 2.this will help monitor the amount of bleeding and changes.

My thoughts and how she is:

Patient is doing well past 4 days. Periods ongoing but no heavy bleeding of concern (regular and on off). I am very happy she passed the phase without further complications. For any discomfort after 3 to 4 days, take a scan. Use honey morning and night for internal healing. According to articles I read, antibiotics are not required after this process and best if body takes to healing naturally. Therefore, focus on nutrition. Good foods and liquids as much as possible.

Easy cracker recipe

Have you ever gone to market and searched for a good cracker to eat with cheese or sauce when you are binge watching netflix?

I have! And they are pricey not to mention they aren’t tasty as much as when you make em!

What you need:

  1. Flour 1 cup
  2. Salt 1 spoon (tea spoon)
  3. Sugar 1 spoon (tea spoon)
  4. Curry leaves or basil or any kind of herb of which you fancy. Curry leaves are domestic must haves in Asia.
  5. Cold water half cup
  6. Pepper powder 1 tea spoon.

Mix together and form a dough. Roll as flat as you can. Cut into squares or whichever shape you like.

I use a gas goven and at full heat it takes 8 to 10 mins. In a microwave it could take 4 to 5 mins at 350 degrees.

These are great to go around and doesnt cost much to make yourself. Tastes awesome.

Fuh kandhi (coconut and flour porriage) maldivian dessert

INTRODUCTION:

I used to be spice less kid as i grew up. Never had any spicy food and our mother used to cook curry and gravy with least amount of chillies in them. for snacking, she made us snacks from what was available at home or easy to buy and cheaper options.

I have asked my mom to draft a recipe book so that i can put it up for those who would like to learn. Ingredients and few aspects of recipe changes region to region in Maldives. My mom is from South of Maldives.

Fuh Kandhi (Flour & coconut porridge)

Image result for porridge rice sweet

Ingredients: (portion for 6 pax)

  1. Pandan Leaves (1 or 2) Locally known as “Raambaa Fai:
  2. Sugar half kilo
  3. All purpose flour half kilo
  4. 1 liter water
  5. Thick Coconut Milk of 1 coconut or you can use the 250ml pack
  6. Skimmer spoon.

 

Instructions.

  1. Cook 800ml water in a pot with Pandan leaves till start boil and there is aroma of pandan leaves from the steam. add sugar and mix well. keep on low heat.
  2. In a bowl, add 3 cups of flour with water. the consistency when mixed should be enough so that it will slowly flow in drop lets when poured into skimmer. not solid and not runny.
  3. Remove pandan leaves and keep aside.
  4. Keep the water pot on low heat and start pouring the mixed flour into the skimmer. The skimmer should be placed on top of the pot so that the drops fall directly into the heated and boiling water. the drops will solidify as soon as it touches the water in pot. keep rotating, mixing the water inside during the process to avoid clumps. the smaller the drops the better for eating.
  5. once the mix is finished incorporating into the water mix, pour coconut milk. i use 200ml for this portion. Add pandan leaves back in. incorporate the coconut milk well.
  6. next, mix water and flour together in a bowl and pour into the pot slowly mixing. this is to make the porridge thicker. alternatively you can use corn flour dissolved in water to make it thicker too.
  7. let it cool. enjoy this healthy desert

 

AN INTROVERT ON A STONE (The Luxury Concept)

I am sure a lot of you guys would have come across the astronaut- rather remarkably standing on one big giant rock. But no Sir, not an introvert on a stone. I hope these writings make some people aware that being an introvert isnt a bad thing but rather a good thing!

Its been a good few years i understood i was an introvert- and top of all; a funny introvert that is! A paranoid introvert. Now don’t take me wrong but paranoia doesn’t mean i do not respect others needs or privacy and it only applies to my self. So in short, lets talk Selfish Paranoid Introvert. Sounds like a bad guy from a comic series aint it?

Lets Talk perspective.

introvert saying

Now, as much as i hate the time i actually have to keep away from tech stuff, lets say, i love peace. i love every thing about peace. and everything that starts with ‘peace’ in a sentence like ‘peaceful bliss’, ‘peaceful environment’ etc etc etc. Harr harr. I find it very hard to trust people. I sometimes go through lengthy self exams on people around me..testing their patience, style, appearance, but i dont like to see too many people in one place at once; unless i am tipsy. hic. hic. Human anatomy interests me. I like to study facial features, movement of people from different angles- well. mainly for my art improvement. It is one of the joys of having art as a habit for an introvert.

Point to note at this very stage, i do not favor or go for direct contact indirectly or directly with some one but…. its more like- ‘i will if i have to and i wont if i can avoid it’ situation. It has been 3 years plus in my current work environment. Sadly, i have made 3 friends. 1 each year- hooray.! Nothing to be proud of really.

Now- an introvert normally doesnt take the opposing or interred person easily,. that we know, but what happens when one is Paranoid as well as an introvert. What i have built around me is this wall., I call it my wall of solitude. I have a very clear distinction between frinds, colleagues, familly, etc. Generally 3 groups.

FRIENDS

This type of people are hard to come by. Is a rare gem and i am one who would give up his life for a person he consideres a friend. Things like not sitting in dinner table soon after done, not being asked of what my private times account for etc. While i dont share everything with almost anybody, the friends circle also much is kept to myself. Now this circle has a special category which is a hybid between friends and familly. This is when a brother becomes a friend. Some one from bloodline becoming friends. This i have only one that i was establish a friendship despite being my own brother.

COLLEAGUES

This is the hard part. The people around me may consider me a friend. I am grateful and thankful for that but when i have to say in any description that he is a colleague or a friend, i sometimes feel having discriminated some what from either terms. For this, my slogan is- wish the same to other other that which you wish for your self and interaction wise its the famous “Hi!” Vs “Bye” relationship extending to at most- a “how are you”- with an automated setup response as ‘good’ or ‘fine and any funny one word guillotine. I wish all my colleagues, the best of their time.

FAMILY

Headache. Love, Calmness. trust, community are main things which cross my mind when i say family. It is an obligation- though i dont keep constant contact, the group of people i love most and feel easy to be with. Often had i thought if it is the preference of ones identification of this group of people as ‘family’ that makes me obliged to not only trust but care and love them as well. There was a time, i self exiled myself to stay away from all of them but even then, i loved the feeling of jumping into my mother’s arms, holding onto my brother or playing some weird thing with them. They are irreplaceable.

THE INEVITABLE PERCEPTION.

So my perception based on either of the type of people, starts at categorizing the person first into any of the other groups. Some times, and not great to say, some people do not fit into either of the groups.

MORALITY OF A PROFESSION

being an introvert isnt a secluded thought or decision. It is a way of life and a reason for you to learn, understand and accept other people’s opinions and thoughts. The same way you would work around an immovable object. In 2008, walking around was hard to do- you always get greeted by some one and respond back. But in 2017. you dont hear the greets but concerns you partly because you are paranoid and also think why the world always works the opposite side. Good habits people!

introvertsextroverts

FEW THINGS YOU NEED TO LEARN ABOUT INTROVERTS

  1. We observe! yes we do. we look at every move, every sign language and every word! Thoughtful and self aware.
  2. Our life is just a small circle around us. and everything inside is protected and loved with our life. a friend, a family member can be sure we will be there when they need us most.
  3. We are judgmental- comes as no surprise- but wait… we dont just judge. we let you do the thinking and attach to your thoughts.
  4. No. we dont just think internally. this is so wrong to say. we actually are more thoughtful than the extrovert who happens to jump to or at almost everything.
  5. We love to be social and you are reading right… there is a but to it! use your imagination.
  6. Our attention to details is just too much. if you are showing something to an introvert, they will remember it in good details. be careful.
  7. You can bet your ass we wont cry. Not anywhere seen for sure. our emotions are reaaaaallly private.

So if you are having an introvert friend, there are things you could do to ease and strengthen that bond between the deflective mirror and your self.

  • Give time and space. Patience is the key word here!.
  • if your friend is new to your group or you, then dont push them to do things. let them choose.
  • Dont lie. Be honest. we can take any truth and our personalities doesn’t allow us to break your secret or not cover you. For an introvert; trust means almost everything. we are better at keeping secrets than the average. factually and psychologically. mind you, it will be very difficult to regain that trust if you loose it. just be frank. not Mr. Frank. You dont have to be a do-gooder or goofy goober. we just want to understand the real picture and adjust ourselves to deal with you. or rather learn to deal with you.
  • Dont generally invite to things or events. (directly call/msg/meet and ask/invite- make it a streamed approach) we are introverts because we dont generalize. And even if your introvert friend doesn’t turn up, dont mess it, drop a message and ask or check-in if they are ok- and dont push to be there. There are two factors- a) maybe the introvert doesnt agree with others in the group or b) he/they/she may not want to go to that specific place. It is place and people related. introverts dont introvert over people only. Its about company, places, times, etc. a lot of confusing factors. sometime down the line your introvert friend will turn up because of that message you sent that day checking if they are ok. and you my friend can be sure he will be there the rest of the way.
  • Very important scenario- there are 3 people in a group & all are new people. say class or college; lets say person 1 starts yapping personal things in front of the others. THAT IS A NO NO. do not do it. we envy the extroverts ability to make quick friends and also hate to be the crying shoulder or bro-zoned when that quick connection ends even quicker. Our Wall is built for this reason alone and we have lived long enough to understand those relationships dont last long. secrecy is a motivation for us.
  • Be yourself. we hate masks and so do we hate show offs.
  • We tend to be stubborn. and this depends on your experience and learning to be stupid or just plain stubborn. (A Stupid stubborn wont know or accept they are wrong. But plain stubborn will know when to let go or accept)
  • Introverts are mostly rebellious. (i myself being one)- if a train leaves at 9:10- and if it leaves at 9:15- those 5 minutes extra had caused 5000 thoughts ranging from explosion, propaganda, reasons and sometimes even leads to us thinking of alternatives! Dayum!. if you are the train master, you can be assured you will hear a very rude person demanding to know the reason- not because its delayed but because we want to cross out the possibilities (engine defect/blown etc) before being seated. Its a trust issue.
  • We dont trust governments. or any ruling authority for that matter. things have to be factual and decisive and proven.
  • So with that, i wish all of you guys and girls a wonderful together time and hope to have provided some form of information in understanding the introverts among us. Just remember, all of it falls under your perception.

I started writing this article in Early 2017 but never got to finish till now. Felt it is only fair to publish this mind fart although i do really feel the narration came without the ending i planned for. However, times require more important writings. It is time to write about the ‘beautiful’ SonevaFushi in the Maldives.

Coming up: Sonevafushi Resort- A look into 25 years of Billionarizing.

View at Medium.com

#a thought to cross# Thuppi the 2P :-/

She was born,away from me…it took me 306 usd to see her the 1st time when she came to this world.
I remember holding her in my arms so small
A hairless little puppy with just the pupil in her eyes.

The first time i held her,she smiled for the feeling
Of the blood v share within us..the blood she came to be from.
It was happiness i held in my arms,
Happiness i could not have fathom without that physical moment.

Minutes passed to hours, night turned to days
Then the weeks followed into months. And then the years…
Her first words bapapapa to daddy and then a long unmanaged fits of sentences..
Of fire benders and water tribles..
The falling of love to little soft pillow corners and soft toys
Of flowers and butterflies,
The craze for paint, paper and pencils
Generations of resemblances and commons

Never failed to make me proud.
When i am gone for long hours and return home moody:
She would run to me and hug my legs as i stand
Daddy i missed you…and my heart fills with love.

When i put her to sleep, she asks me to sing for her
And i sing her the bedtime songs on request..one by one
When the hymns start in a slow ABCD rythem, she looses control and her chinese eyes shut.
She will not know how many times i kiss her when shes asleep.
She likes to watch me cook..make me small kiddy dishes
She wants to be big and strong like daddy
Goes on commanding every1 and everthn with threatening to “tell daddy this and that”

Tonight she was humming for me
as My ‘firumanvaa’ (a trait thanks to me) took her to her dreamworld
She feels comfortable with me
So comfortable that i can physicaly see it.. And i guess she sees it back from me…
A mirror to look back from….yet a girl.
Each and everybit i hoped and prayed to be.

Yet i wonder why, why some pple dont value this gift,
So beautiful and so full of innocence and love
Why they are thrown away and given up..
Maybe the circumstances…maybe the hard times…maybe…so much…

But my heart just cant beat without her… And the thought of giving her up or throwing her, or getting rid of her feels so horrid dat i cant speak of it.far from thoughts, cant even imagine it. So lets take a social moment and think of the yet many reasons this comes to be in our society. Why the last few months media reports have been rained with crimes on infants.. Some ones sister, some ones daughter..

The army and police, the judiciary and state holds only the end of the line… A line that starts from the small rooms in the vicinity of our own society.. The only solution is our awareness and our willingess to stand up to these abuses, be better parents, better relatives and better friends.

2012 Good bye

happy new year7

The year for me, started from March. I had my reasons to move back to Maldives. Reasons my own father never understood. Reason to be there for your own. My mother was an alpha mom, never seen a theatre, never been out of the house for anything. bearing 8 children to my inconsiderate and negligent father whom I have always hated but loved as well.

We sold all the furniture, the electronics and equipments from our place in Sri Lanka after which we came to know the status of Maldives. February, the elected government by the people toppled by use of army, police and all corrupt means. We wanted to change our mind but everything was sold out. The house contract was closed.

March, we returned to Male’, to get a job which will keep me close to my immediate family. I returned to a family I never knew. My own family was living in Hulhumale’ (another city almost 45 minutes ride by boat). With so many loose ends over the years away from my own family, i did not want to stay with them. I decided to stay with the family I was to know.

Returning from a posh life of a huge house to a 1 room, 1 sitting room, 1 kitchen, 1 toilet, all 1 piece apartment in Male city, our first thoughts were education for the kids which were to resume immediately on return to ensure their academic performance. things went on well and I met a brother from this new family who was actually better than my own brother. Kind and helpful.

Then came April…A month of rejoicing to be back among family members. To see their faces and specially to see my mother whom I love most. Even though we had disputes, I knew she was there for me always and she loved me most. I had lost all my friends over the fast few years..

May was in for a celebration…. The birth of a new life i was living now.

June-July-Aug-September-October-November-December as a stretch was spent on looking for a better job opportunities while working at a middle class business in the capital city under minimum wages..from July late. I always think something is better than nothing. Come to think of it, I dont know how the stretch of months went, being frustrated, angry, disgusted, cheated, pitied, thrown up, led down…

Like I say, what doesnt kill you, will only make you stronger. I survived!.. I am living to write this post on the last day of this 2012, a year i will never forget. Not as the lowest achievements but as the biggest and most valuable lessons learned. Assumption is truly, the mother of all fuck-ups (sorry of i may say so).

Relationship- after long years of living apart, I thought things will get better once we started living together .. , but assumption…..still So far, I have been truly honest and truly dedicated. I will never be my father. This is one area i definitely need improvement because it effects everything else i do..my mood & my sociability, my creativeness as well as my will. but I feel theres nothing i can do to make it right. Standing on the bring of a fall.

Carrier- 2011, last day of December…i was running on a beautiful beach surrounded by people who respected me, with headfones singing “My December”by linkin park; without having slept for 2 nights in the course of the preparations for new year festive season. Only thought in my mind of feeling bad for not being there with my family on new year eve.. I had missed the occasion with family the past 3 years before as well

Having resigned the job which was paying a posh income in-order to live closer to family and also bcz of somewhat work ethics or pride… I thought getting a job in Male city would not be so hard. June-July-Aug-September-October-November. Theres always a price to pay to get what u want..cant have both… for pple like us born with no financial back ground, we need high salaries to support our families. A salary close to impossible while staying with them in the capital city. .. but assumption……took the best of me. I plan to work again at a resort in 2013. I am working very hard as this being my number 1 priority for 2013. Where I am right now…love & respect only comes with green bills.

Family extended- The extended new family i met was nothing like i thought…maybe their ideology and my ideology differs by oceans but cant it distinguish between right and wrong? A mother who met her daughter after 30 years of giving her up after birth and a daughter who would never accept her as a mother… sadly, i dont see much difference in either of them..stubborn to the point of losing everything they have…..and they will.

My mom, bros & sissies- My mom makes 1 mistake…knowing me, she always tells me when she looses control of something..until then, she will be silent… what i do is,, i want immediate results and action for the problem; which ends in a not so good manner. When its out of control, I have to play the bad cop. Like so, i lost a sister,, almost a brother as well. The brother was a loose end I was able to tighten back. and I am only learning them myself.
Mom has been very sick with heart issues. No good heart docs here. the only doc in Male is on vacation.. possibly wont show up before end of January…. I resolve to take her abroad for medications in first quarter of 2013. Also possibly try to calm myself and resolve the other loose ends. Too many loose ends here.

Friends- I didnt make much friends after my return to Maldives. My cube life keeps me caged from morning 9 to afternoon 6 or 7pm everyday. i run home just in time to say a small good night with the rest of the night sitting alone or watching a movie.. I interact with people all day..clients, buyers, sellers…and i need peace at night..but it didnt help. hoping a friend would drop by and say hi… I met “fakarish”, “KC” old friends from school age… Fakarish got married and i couldn’t attend the wedding cz though he invited me, all others were excluded and for then, it did not seem fair Faka got pissed I guess..and I didnt have the guts to call him even with an excuse…. KC came down to live in the same building only to be thrown out of the building for “bad” attitude. haven’t met either of them since. Either way, my anti social attitude is to blame i guess. I need to improve. I need to call faka too.. he was a good friend and so was KC.

So many lessons this past year 2012. truly a time i will treasure forever….as lessons learned; never to repeat. My goals are now clear.NOW: the secret why I think 2013 will resolve them all?? Well, you see… 13 is my lucky number.. and every day of the coming year is a 13….. FOR ME, its not much of a ‘happy” new year… but I am happy today is the last day of 2012… Realisticialy, I just want to hope for a better year ahead and give everything I have to make it happen!

I am happy for all you guys out there who are blessed with better times than I, and also those who have an even crappiest time than mine… HAPPY NEW YEAR…2013.

happy new year3

Changes

I’m not supposed to be scared of anything, but I don’t know where I am

I wish that I could move but I’m exhausted and nobody understands how I feel

I’m trying hard to breathe now but there’s no air in my lungs

There’s no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb

I try to hold this Under control

They can’t help me ‘Cause no one knows

Now I’m going through changes, changes

God, I feel so feel so frustrated lately

When I get suffocated, save me

Now I’m going through changes,

I’m feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone

Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone

I’ve got something to say, but now I’ve got no where to turn

It feel like I’ve been buried underneath the weight of the world

I try to hold this Under control

They can’t help me ‘Cause no one knows

I’m running, shaking

Bound and breaking

I hope I make it through all these changes

Now I’m going through changes

God, I feel so frustrated lately

When I get suffocated, save me

Now I’m falling apart, now I feel it

AWARENESS!

The below narrative compiles a short summary on the life of one single man…for you to justify on your own. I shall call this child, “X”

He was born a “family secret” in late 1940’s; fatherless- and a mother who never could point his biological father to him. research and facts narrate that the boy’s grand father could have been his biological father who has a record of abuse and violence against his daughter. to hide the shame and due to the community laws for illegitimate children, the maternal grandparent became his “mother” and “father”. His biological mother changed her real name to take the guise of an elder sister. A whore by profession who was submitting her own son to the violence and abuse she saw growing up with. The whole family and even the grand parents lied about his origin only for him to find out in the bitter end.

till 3 years of age, X lived in that house hold from birth. The Grandmother had to undergo electric shock once every few weeks leaving X in the hands of the abusive and tyrannic grandfather. In 1950, X and his biological mother traveled to upstate after family and relatives started concerns of being found in on the family secret. The mother was his sister as X knew and he was moving upstate for better opportunities.

In 1951, X’s mother fell in love with an upstate middle class wager for whom she conceived 4 children. X was given the stepfather’s sur name whom he never liked and were distant. X never understood interpersonal relationships, was a loner and never developed his social interactions.

Until the age of 18, X had records of burglary, theft and many other crimes. He had an infatuation to creep beside windows when women were undressed in the neighborhood houses, go through garbage to find nude pictures and edits including stealing ski equipments and tickets to go skiing which was his hobby. After he was 18, all records were expunged by authorities so that he could have a clean future so was the custom.

In 1966; X joined the Washington university to study Chinese literature. Facts show it was these years that X got romantically involved with a class mate around 1967; aged 21. However in 1968, X’s life took a steep step when he dropped out of collage to provide for his and his girl friend’s expenses and started working with different small time companies including the 41st American Vice president, Rockefeller administration as a volunteer! his happiness were short lived as his Class mate love left him,.

The devastated X, in 1969, at age of 23 then traveled to far east of America where he visited his relatives and family members and is also known as the period that he came aware of his illegitimacy. of his birth, his family and his life. However, knowing the truth did not hold him back, and the same year he started another relationship with a divorcee which went on for some years to follow.

Having learned a lot from his own past, X enrolled again in the washington university in the mid terms of 1970 at age of 24 where he was honored a psychology major. In 1971 X started working at a suicide hotline crisis center where all his colleagues described him as kind, solicitous, and empathetic person who was willing to help everyone. His input into election offices and administrations helped X’s carrier to rise yet again; backed by politicians and high ranking officials who vouched for him as he joined law school in 1973. Then again, X met his old class mate love who left him in early 1969 saying he was not worth it and did not have what it took to be a successful person’ only to marvel at how bright and truly amazing he had become since she left him. X did not go into a relationship this time but after apparent intimate affairs, ended the courtship.

In April of 1974, X was no longer going to classes and he was socially missed by all…only to start a murder spree recorded among highest in human history from 1974. So who is this man X? more of, the question is, what led to his Rape & murder spree… you all know his name. The person who single handedly raped and murdered a recorded (most probably more than) 38 young girls in more than 4 of the American states untill his death in 1989. A period, history will never forget..

Ageing Relationships

Marking an almost glorious 7 years of togetherness, I have learned a lot from what was shared, said, marked and scored..

It was a new years night. I was supplying engineering materials to a few resorts in the Maldives. We were invited to go to a small resort in Male atoll. I refrained from going because I was single and no fun. After the day’s work, i fled office secretly and hurried home where i just slept. I was woken up by my Manager who had called me many a times. After I did not respond, he took the courtesy of coming around to my home to collect le’ me.

Still sleepy eyed, i washed my face,, some perfume and left with my manager as the speed boat was getting late and he looked like he might pee in his pants from his constant child like hurry up gestures. So there I was on my way with him. My colleagues were waiting at the jetty where the speed was long waited. I remember I had a moustache,,much like of an Indian. wore a striped T shirt by POLO and the black trouser i was wearing for office. My boss had a girl friend with him and others were going single though not single.

Upon arrival to the property, We were greeted by a manager where I found out that some representatives from other supply companies were also there for the grand dinner. We quickly chose seats, had a luxurious dinner with crabs, lobsters, an immense collection of sea food, pasta etc etc. For a moment, I imagined the round table of the great kind Arthur.

Yes as you would imagine, it was the dicso bar soon after meals. Still the taste in our throat, there was great music playing live, me and my office colleagues took our drinks to a small table just in the corner area of the bar. It was then that my eyes crossed this little angel sitting at the next table with a couple of her girl friends smiling, laughing and probably having a great night together.. I had to drag a seat from their table so i had the chance to say hi.

She frowned this little angel and I saw her whisper something to her friend which later I came to know was “bloody indian talking in Dhivehi fluently” Much credited to my swirled mustache. The music was echoeing inside our body… we can barely hear each other talk. so we sang merrily to the tunes from the live band.

After a couple of minutes, my Manager came and dragged me and my colleagues to the floor. It would have been 11:00pm by now…1 hour to midnight; the start of a new year. For me  start of a new life. My eyes kept returning at her in which ever conversation i was making with my friends. When i was dancing, i saw myself dancing in one direction like a puppet on a stage. I went to her and asked her for a dance.. she miraculously agreed and we came on the floor.

I dont know what it was, but i was drawn to her. she was 5ft and i was 10 inches taller than her. Slim with a very delicate figurine. not the short skirted and half nude average girl on disco floors. she wore red and black..my favorite color. the lights were dancing, bouncing on and off our eyes, our steps, our shadows and i tried to catch her eyes. the one hiding behind her spectacles. There was more in her eyes. I refrained from touching her at any point in our dance. she went back to her seat a couple times and returned to the floor with her girl friends. All the time, my curious eyes on her. this feeling I got i could never understand.

Closer to the mid night, it was craziness everywhere. I felt like a body guard. My eyes were out of control, looking at her to make sure she was safe in all that hassle on the floor. In a short period of time, i felt a connection to her intense and mystical. When the clock stroke 12, all the couple on the stage and bar was as if 1 bundle. kissing each other. i was standing in front of this little beauty. A mute conversation went on between us in the darkness of the new year eve when all lights were shut off for the moment.  Before I knew it, i kissed her on her forehead. A family tradition I kept. A kiss on the forehead meant “bless you”. It was a 2 second skin contact. But still in my heart 6 years later.

to be continued……gotta work!

WHY? I small cry from my soul

Why I ask,

When I look I see doubt

In the person I wish to see thought

the beautiful nights turned so numb

Sitting beside each other not a word to be sung

I feel alone, in my thoughts and in my dreams

Yet I make an understanding

Of this world and this life

to sacrifice my one life

to let go of my smile

for the sake of others and yet others be blind.

My soul has died, I have not smiled for me.

nor felt for me, the happiness i desire.

why is it so?

That in the process of keeping others happy

I have forgotten to smile

I have lost the will to smile.